A New Year

I hope that last year was a good year for all of you because it was surreal for me. I gave birth to a beautiful boy. Couldn't ask for a better kid! He's truly amazing and it's sooo wonderful discovering new things with him. He truly is just a happy-go-lucky baby!

I've been thinking of a New Year's resolutions but I wasn't sure if I was going to go through with it. It seems like my life is unstable right now. I feel like I don't know what I want to do. I realized that this year, I'm not getting any younger and I'm just confused as a high school junior whose undecided of which college to go to. Probably feeling overwhelm by the fact that I'm probably better off with a job right now because we all know that bills are definitely not paying themselves. I know that I really don't mind doing what I was doing earlier but I know that it's not what I want to do the rest of my life. I'm sure some people are content in what they got but I feel that that job is just not for me and I know that I can do better. BUT WHAT? I guess that's my resolution, answering it! I feel like there is something waiting for me, that will challenge me and that I'll enjoy waking up daily to. In everything that I dipped my feet in, it's not enough, it's not challenging enough, it's...just not it!

As I'm not getting any younger, I'm feeling more and more depressed. I know that I really have no one to talk to! It's not like the people around me don't understand. I'm sure they are very supportive in what I want to do but I feel alone when it comes to this. I feel like this is a challenge in itself and who knows when I'll really discover what I want to do or who I want to me. Should I just throw in the towel and accept what my parents had planned for me? Like any other Asian parents, they really are the guide in what we should do and whom we should become.

I really don't know at this point. I'm just glad that I was able to go to the gym today and let go of some stress that's been accumulating over the pass months.

Well, I have one hopeful mystery to be looking forward this year, the growth of my son! And also, I've signed up for some 10K mud run in mid June. Hmmm, I guess today was the first day of my training.

I wish you all to find yourself this year, if you haven't already, and cherish the memories of your love ones because time DO fly by fast. Before you know it, it will be then end of another year!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year 2009!